JD's Musings Decomplexified

Today’s my birthday! I am now 22 years old! Yay me! Actually you should congratulate God for creating me AND putting up with me for 22 years! Haha. I have come to the final realization that I am indeed a brat. But I so appreciate the way He loves, protects, and disciplines me... Serves me right. Heh heh.

And here's the big bang! Good news! Reeaaally good news! I PASSED THE JUNE-2007 NURSES LICENSURE EXAMINATION! Wee* Hooray!

I just woke up. Yawns* Good morning, world!

Was I just dreaming or I really saw RJ when I first woke up at around 6 AM? Nagising kasi ako, then I saw him sleeping on the La-Z Boy beside mine. Hmm. I remember hearing my phone's "excuse me, boss, you have a text message" alert, and turning on my other side as I dozed off again. Maybe it's true, I did see him.

OK. I gotta go home. But before I go, here's a song I just remembered when I typed "home". This is one of my favorite songs right now... Well, actually, the words "going home" in this song has a different meaning to me. It's like I'm coming back to God to be embraced by Him at the end of a long and tiring day or after an exhausting/painful/sad experience. Those parts of the song that I really like are colored blue. Enjoy the lyrics. Buh-bye.

Home by Chris Daughtry

I'm staring out into the night
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where
love and feeling good don't ever cost a thing,
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old.
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Hola! I haven't posted a blog yesterday. Sorry to my (according to Louie) very obsessed fan out there who might contemplate suicide after learning that I ended a day without posting a blog. Scary huh? Heh heh. Anyway, let's support my trainer's idea. Let's name that fan "Maf", as in My Avid Fan.

So let me catch you up on all my life's events since Wednesday night. To start with, I would like to say, ladies and gentlemen, na ang haba ng hair ng lola mo. Hahaha. Yeah. Believe that coz I've got three supporting statements here. First, mahaba naman talaga ang hair ko. I don't know the exact length from scalp to tip of course, but down from my clavicle (pardon the nurse's jargon), it's 7 to 8 inches long. Second, Ate Maudie told me last Sunday after the 2nd-service praise-and-worship that my hair's so long na. Well, we didn't see each other for like two months na kasi, at nagpa-rebond ako nung July 11 so parang mas humaba pa talaga ang hair ko after the treatment. For the third statement, well, this is more like a churva thingy lang.. Kasi last Wednesday night, I was conversing with these two guys thru text, and (guess what!) they ACTUALLY proposed to me. Imagine?! Magkasunod! Ang haba talaga ng hair ko. So there. By the way, one of them was Craven, and the other one is, well, let's name him "Sanjeev" na lang. I almost (ALMOST) gave my "yes" to Craven that night coz he was saying things that were so sweet and sincere. Buti na lang I was able to control my self and think clearly. (Imagine the tip of my index finger almost touching my thumb) I was this close to having a boyfriend that night! Oh my. Buti na lang Jay-Jay's with me that time. His presence alone prompted me to think think think, not just feel feel feel. But, come to think of it, something happened that time too.. I think a mutual understanding has been confirmed between Craven and I. ..Tsk. Anyway, I hope Craven will be the kind of guy I am expecting him to be. He calls me "honey or hon" for a time now even if we're not really a couple. That's so sweet of him. So, heck, let him be. On the other hand, Sanjeev also said that he loves me. Oh, por favor! Now that's something I didn't know how to react to. He's my friend/tropa/barkada/kaibigan for crying out loud!!!! Sigh. But I do like him, honestly. Now I'm confused. Sabagay naman, at least I didn't commit myself sa kahit isa sa kanila that night. My spiritual foundation is strong, thank goodness. Though my need for intimacy is too strong to be neglected sometimes, I'm still able to resist things that are not meant to happen this soon. (Victorious me!)

Now, this is the next spiritual battle I survived: I'm actually here now in the 29th-floor pantry of eTel Libis coz sa lounge ulit ako matutulog ngayon. Kagagaling ko lang sa "Brown Paper Bag". It's a place where people drink and smoke, and basically have their kind of fun. I went there with 9 of my eTel buddies (5 girls and 4 guys) after our training class. Uminom ba'ko? No. Nagyosi ba'ko? No. Nakakatawa man pero sumama ako sa kanila and I didn't drink nor smoke. I just drank one 12-oz. bottle of Royal, ate the "pulutan", danced a bit, and had fun with them! See? I can now do that. Kung may nakakaalam kung sino ako nung high school at nung nasa PUP pa'ko, they might have a hard time believing that I didn't take even a drop of alcoholic drink nor take a pull from a stick this particular evening. I was seating beside "M", this guy wavemate of mine, who kept offering me his glass and cigarette. But, thank God, I was able to say NO all the time. At buti na lang "P" was like protecting me coz I told her that I don't drink. Pinapatigil nya yung guys sa pag-aalok sa'kin ng beer. Sobrang gustong gusto ko na rin sanang uminom kahit isang lagok lang ng San Mig Light, Strong Ice, or Red Horse... I was even tempted to smoke. But for the nth time, thank You Lord! Because na-control ko ang sarili ko. Really, the old has gone -- the new has come. God knows how hard the battle was kanina sa Brown Paper Bag. I spent my teenage years celebrating things with liquors, slim handheld chimneys, et cetera. When He found me two years ago, I was like a rebel. But then He changed my life completely and loved me unconditionally. I gave up every twisted principle and angst when He asked me to surrender my life. Now I'm free from the things of this world. I found out that there's more to life than high grades, cool friends, popularity, being "in", and so on. So habang nag-iinuman sila kanina, tamang kwento lang ako at deliver ng punchlines. Tamang sayaw kami on our seats at tamang kanta ng rock songs. We had fun! Nag-enjoy kami. A photographer from the Pulp mag even took our picture. Haha. He said they'll feature the place daw kasi sa mag nila kaya nandun yung group nila, taking pictures and interviewing the manager. Hmm. Ma-publish kaya pati picture namin? Anyway, we'll receive our first salary na next week... Sana may gimik ulit kami. Pero sana dinner naman. =) Winks*

Yesterday morning, I received a text message from a friend. The content didn't surprise me because it's like I've known it long before. But deep inside, I was hoping that this thing won't be confirmed. Well, now it is. Sigh. I don't know what to say. I feel happy for this friend of mine. But honestly, something tells me that it shoudn't be that way. That something's not quite right. Maybe I'm just being too concerned. Maybe I'm just over-reacting in my mind. I tried tearing myself out of that thought but it bugged me. I hope things will turn out good for my friend. Anyway, all I can do is to give my support all the way and pray.

Anyway, on to lighter topics, I found out that Keesha has a Friendster account. (What the?!) Y'know, she is just two years old. My cute inaanak. Heck, I know her mom made it of course. But I was amazed when I saw her webpage. Cutie. Aww.. I just realized, I miss my best friends... Sniff* Yeah, I have a handful of best buds, not just Sky (but he's the only male bestfriend I got). I have two childhood best friends - Michelle and Kristine (Keesha's mom). We went to the same school (FHLA) from elementary to high school, and we've known each other since the 5th grade. 'Hope I'll see them soon. FYI: I've got, uhm, 5 best friends. Jay-Jay included.

Oh. I'm so looking forward to Sunday! I'm planning to attend the Sunday service. And, guess what? I'll have drums lessons with Fritz! Yippee! It's been, what?, SIX years since I had my last drums lesson with Invictus, my CAT co-officer in high school. He taught me the basics. Now with Fritz I can now learn more beats and techniques since I've already learned the fundamentals. I love drums. It's always the drum beat (if not the lyrics) that fascinates me in a song. The loud crash, snare strikes, and bambambams. Oh, the time.. gotta go! Gimme a rock beat as I leave, will you please. Thanks.

Fifth monthsary namin ngayon ni Sky (my guy bestfriend). He sent me a message around midnight to greet me, and he asked for his bonnet. Did I promise that I'll give him a bonnet? Can't remember. All I know is we'll watch a movie together this month and that he promised that we will dine out in a nice resto. Hmm... Bonnet... I really can't remember. But if he wants one, I may probably buy him one.

Change topic. This guy I've known for a long time now has FINALLY told me that he likes me. Blush* Now he's courting me! (Waah.) Well, he's nice naman. (Let's name him "Craven"). He's from a diff school of nursing. Yeah, I kinda like him too. The thing is, we don't share the same faith. He's got a diff relig.. And he's in Cebu right now and he probably won't be in Manila muna for the next couple couple couple of months. Sigh. Well, I give it all to God. (Lord, teach me what to do.) I don't wanna go for things that may end up devastating, painful or, worse, a factor that will separate me from my spiritual fortress. Since I started working, I keep reminding myself of this verse: "Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you - guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us." That's so I am able to block the things of this world that are trying to get to me, like smoking, liquors, bad-mouthing, rebellion et cetera. Having God as my guardian is, well, my unbeatable defense.. unless I stray away. God help me then, coz I don't want to.

Change topic. Last night, Peaches (team leader) and RJ (SME) treated us to Yellow Cab. Well, it's sort of a get-together coz RJ will be teaching another team starting today. That's sad. Hope we'll still see him around.

Change topic. Louie (trainer) hasn't given me my Snickers bar yet. He owe me that coz it's my prize. Last Fri, I was the first one who found this certain article he asked us to search for in the net. Heheh. Oh, by the way, guess what? My mates call me a hacker. They also gave me the name "Trinity" (the gorgeous -ehem- hacker chick in the Matrix film). Actually if you'll ask me, geek's a great word to describe me now, and I seriously couldn't care less about my old opinions on being called a geek (though nobody calls me that naman, ako lang ang nag-isip). As a TSR, I'm into computers, softwares, hardwares, connections, troubleshooting and other tech thingy. You may not believe it, but I do enjoy these stuff right now. Love 'em, really.

What else? Hmm. Guess that's it. Vavoosh for now.

I just woke up from my first deep slumber in the eTel lounge. Yeah, I slept there after our training class last night. T'was raining and I had to go home to Bulacan. But I didn't wanna go through the hassles of rain plus long bus ride plus city darkness. Shivers*
But, as I can see here thru the window (I'm in the 21st floor pantry), it's still raining! Goodness. Pero uuwi na'ko. Gusto ko na maligo. Gusto ko na magpalit ng damit. Mashado na kaming close sa isa't isa ng jacket ko. By the way, I'm wearing my new eTel jacket... It's black (my favorite color)... It has an inner pocket, two side pockets (where I could keep my hands when they're cold), and it looks great. I love it. This is currently my favorite thing in the world. Wala lang. Share ko lang. =P
Well, I hope today will be a good day for me, rest wise.
Gotta go. Welcome world! It's Saturday!

Hey, last note: I really enjoy my job. The company I work for is fab!

For my best friend, Jay-Jay:
Things just haven’t been the same since we’ve become close. I was just a kid when you were introduced to me and I never thought that you’d be my best friend.
In grade school, I only talked to you during recess and at night. You’re my childhood friend, but how come you never really played with me? In high school, new kids became my friends and we almost lost our connection.
But now I’m glad because, though I've got so many friends and you have a multitude too, our old friendship was rekindled in college. The bond we have is stronger now. We talk everyday, and share each other’s lives. You always make me smile.
Today, August 16, we celebrate our anniversary. I just wanted you to know that I appreciate your presence in my life, Jay-Jay. How could I carry on without your funny (ironic) surprises and words of encouragement? How could I make the best decision without asking for your opinion? I couldn’t even go to a certain place anymore without first informing you and asking you to come with me. Really, I changed a lot because of you. I’m happier. Thank you so much, Jay! I’m thrilled to gaze into that future when we will live together in one place.
I love you, best friend! Muah.

I arrived early today. Yes, like yesterday. Our training starts at 1pm, and here I am now enjoying the gameroom. Thanks to the shuttles from Marikina to Makati. Forty five bucks really isn't bad if you wanna avoid the hassles of getting to Cubao first to take the MRT going to Buendia, then take a seven-peso jeepney ride to RCBC, and walk some distance to PBcom Tower. Pwede pa'ko mag-emote-emote sa van while listening to my mp3. Sa MRT, hay naku, what are the chances na makaupo ako? Baka sumabit pa yung headset ko sa zippers ng bags or elbows ng ibang pasahero. Medyo gitgitan kasi. Heheh.

Well anyway, August na.. Lapit na birthday ko. (wee*) I'm turning 22 on the 28th. And here's another important day: on the 16th, spiritual birthday ko naman. Yaay! I so love being in the presence of my Lord and Savior. (I love You!!)

Okay. Today we finally had the TIME to dicover where the gameroom of eTel's Makati site is. It's in the 16th floor! And right now I'm actually here browsing the web for free while J.B. and Xavier are playing air hockey... (Guys, you're so noisy!)

Anyway, I saw Ms. Pauline in the twelfth floor today. She's my favorite HR gal in Libis. We talked for a couple of minutes... She told me she'll be here in Makati for the next two weeks. That's nice. Oh, I saw Russ too.

Our trainer yesterday was MJ. A very bubbly guy. Then today we have Lisa. I like the way she talks. Always makes sense.

I was transferred to Shaw with 6 of my former co-trainees in Tech PET. Start na ng 6-month training namin yesterday (7am-4pm). Yeah, we passed that 5-day training. Thank God. Though under construction pa yung most part of that one-hectare site, maganda na yung place. First, folks, the pantry is sooo spacious. I think you can put a whole badminton court inside. Then, there's the Female Lounge. I love it. And, eherm, our Brazilian instructor is cute. Heheh. Hay...