JD's Musings Decomplexified

This also happened on yuletide of 2006. Check out that blog. It's starting to be a tradition for me that every time the year ends, I turn into a complete couch potato. I'd spend too much time sitting watching television, finishing a stack of DVDs I rented, bought, or borrowed. My reason last year was because it's a chance for me to catch up on TV shows I missed because I was viciously busy in school works. This time, my reason is akin. Work grabbed hold of my time and is gradually extinguishing my social life. Graveyard shift snatched me from theaters and I'm so ready-to-drop at daytime that I could not finish even a thirty-minute TV show. Dead beat.

Good thing SM Fairview is having an after-Christmas sale. I dropped by last Saturday on my way home to buy original DVDs at reduced prices. Then when I got off the bus, I reluctantly purchased a disk from Jack Sparrow. Take note: I said 'reluctantly'. (grin*) Won't do that again.

At home, nobody's awake between midnight and sunrise, except me. That's when I'd play my films. Can't do anything about it. My body clock has already adapted to US time since I'm working for an American company. Even during weekend break or time off, I'm dead to the world at around 5 PM and I get up at 1 in the morning! Yeah, call me anything you want but I swear I don't suck the blood of living people.

So anyway, try to guess the titles of the movies I've watched in the last 2 days. I've met Beatrix Kiddo, O-Ren Ishii, best friends Shannon & Frances, Aeon Flux (oh, that's a give-away!), Sithandra, Violet (the Hemophage who reminded me of my dreadful bangs in third year college), Alice, Jill Valentine (tukayo!), Catherine, and a lot more. I still have 6 movies left unwatched. Will deal with it later.

Grabe. 'Twas girl power at its best! These movies have awaken the feminist in me. Haha. Joke. I don't know why I bought these copies anyway. It seems like all of them featured one or more femme fatales. Maybe when I was picking up titles, I was subconsciously looking for something that would recreate my childhood dream to become an undercover Intelligence operative. But on second thought, nah... Maybe at the back of my mind, I just wanted to watch independent women in action to give me a greater sense of confidence fit for a feme sole. Heh heh.

Bloody. Horrible. Totally unacceptable. Most of the fight scenes are gory. Eeeewness talaga. Take for instance Kill Bill (1&2). I grabbed these copies because one of my friends in ES, this guy who really has a thing for brutality (hehe), said maganda raw yung movie. Hay. I should have known. I thought I've seen bloodshed in The Godfather series. But Kill Bill just wiped out my eyes' innocence on savagery! Argh. How could one woman massacre all Crazy 88, chop off both arms of that lady lawyer (Julie Dreyfus?), and slice Lucy Liu's head?! Waaah. And that's just like 1% of all the eye-popping scenes I saw in 2 days. Di muna ako kakain ng spaghetti at corned beef!!!

Maganda naman yung Kill Bill, in fairness. I just don't agree on the idea of revenge. It destroys a person's good foundation and, worse, his future. Here you're like questioning God's power in handling things and you're just prolonging the hatred in your heart. How could one mature that way? Sa totoong buhay, we should learn how to let go. It might not be easy, especially pag sobrang nasaktan tayo, but we can start the healing process by humbly asking God to heal us and take control of our lives. This is like admitting that we ARE hurt, something has been damaged and we CANNOT repair it, and we CANNOT get rid of the growing hatred in us. By coming to the Lord, we confess that we are WEAK and we acknowledge His power to heal us. A sincere prayer is the first dose to a sure recovery, not revenge.

May quote akong nakuha sa movie. Sabi ni Bill, "Some things, once you do, they can never be undone." Worth pondering over.

Question: Totoo kaya yung five-point palm exploding heart technique? Uma Thurman used that once in the film. Hehe. Just curious.

Dumaan ako saglit sa SM kanina and I saw Tina, one of my team mates. I was blind (read: had my shades on) kaya she had to stop me in my track pa para makita ko sha. Hehe. I use sunglasses talaga to reduce glare. I don't take 'em off even inside malls kasi sumasakit ulo at mata ko, so I keep them kahit pa padilimin nito ang paligid ko. BTW, she was with her boyfriend. (Calling out to Tina: Hello gurlness! Nice to see you there!)

Today's December 31, 2007. Media noche tonight. Wow. HAPPY NEW YEAR Peeps!

Roger and out.

Ok. First of all, I feel good now. To tell you the truth, I still am not that "well", but I'm getting there... WE talked. I'm back to having quiet times regularly (before sleeping in the afternoon). I read the Word again (after quite some time), or at least I read spiritual books because I don't know where to start again in the Bible. I almost finished reading It before. Sigh. Now I'm like indecisive on what book or chapter to read. Maybe later when I get home, I'll read Matthew. I was gobsmacked when the fact finally sank in that I'll be representing Him in Myanmar next year. That is a total breakthrough for me. I'm so blessed to be given this opportunity to join the Myanmar team. As in... WOW. This is one of my prayers in college, but strangely it came during this time that I'm like hidden in the shadows. Truly, His thoughts are not my thoughts and His plans are unknown till the "fullness of time". It's really lovely to think that I am about to be "launched" in the ministry of short-term missions and God will use me to reach out to the people of Myanmar. I owe it to Him that I'll really prepare my heart and body for this mission. To my surprise, it turns out that you don't need to be a Pastor or a fulltime church worker to carry out God's plans like this one. You see, if you are crying out for God to lead your life and use you in His works, He will definitely respond and bless you with opportunities to serve Him. That's how great our Lord Is.

And as I end this post, I feel much better.

Despite my negative feeling... I'll tell ya the news.

Finally. I bought a brand new Nokia N73 Music Edition last Thursday (November 29) at SM Fairview. It's beautiful, a bit complicated, powerful and it's black. Exactly what I want in a phone.

Right now, at 1:40 in the not-quite morning, I realized that I'm a bit indifferent... I have no interest in anything. It's like I don't wanna talk to anyone. I don't wanna agree on something or share my opinion. I just want to be left alone, finish my tasks, explore the gizmo (which nearly drained my savings), maybe listen to Gothic music, and then sleep. I feel tired, but not physically. I look like sleepy, but I'm not. Drained. I'm both emotionally and literally cold.

And I know why.

Maybe I should have a much longer quiet time when I get home... Been a long time since I last talked to Him for more than 15 minutes. For the past few days, I'm always in a hurry... to sleep.

We will surely talk.